Friday, November 16, 2012

Splitting Up the Holidays

It seems like Thanksgiving has just appeared on the calendar out of nowhere and with it comes the annual issues of dividing up the holiday time, especially for people going through divorces. Many people run into issues with where to go and when for the holidays, but those going through divorces go through it in a very amplified and adversarial manner (at least most of them do).

The December holidays are usually a bit easier to split up because they last longer and people have a variety of traditions for their families. But when it comes to Thanksgiving, being only one day, it seems to be a time that people really dig their heels in and refuse to budge. This week I spent nearly an entire day in Court dealing with just that issue when no one was willing to cede any time on the day, split it up, or agree to alternate it going forward.

A common question in my recent consultations has been what to do with holiday times, or more specifically, what does everyone else do. Unfortunately, everyone’s case is different and what works for one family will not work for the other. The easiest cases involve two families who celebrate the holidays in different ways at different times that allow the children to be with both sets of families for their respective holiday traditions.

If you want to see a judge who is unhappy with a couple of litigants, tell the judge that you are unable to agree upon a holiday schedule. It should be a simple calculation, and would show the Court that you are able to be reasonable in the best interests of your children. But if you can’t, you can always let the judge decide and I can guarantee that no one will be happy with what the judge comes up with.

So in the spirit of the holidays, try to work it out yourselves!

For more information on divorce practice and the ways to move your matter forward or to schedule a consultation, please call my office (718.568.0221) or visit my website ( for more information.

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